This New Year's Eve there will be many many parties with, if you are lucky, absurd amounts of champagne. I must admit an absolute weakness for the the bubbly liquid and would drink it and nothing else for the rest of my life if I could (still trying to figure out a way to make that happen). One of the most impressive things I have ever seen or done with a champagne bottle (well, second most but the most impressive is....not something to speak of in polite company) is sabering it. When done right it is a wonder to behold. When done wrong there are lawsuits. Hence, I wanted to teach everyone how to avoid the lawsuits and fully impress everyone you are with at your New Year's Eve party this year.
1. DISROBE YOUR BUBBLY: Take your well-chilled bottle of champagne and remove both the foil and the wire cage covering the cork (as you probably know, it's essential the bottle be well-chilled to avoid leakage, foaming and premature cork-popping).
2. LOCATE YOUR TARGET: Locate one of the two vertical seams running up the side of the bottle. Where the seam meets the lower lip of the bottle is the point at which you'll aim.
3. CONTROL YOUR SABER: Grip the bottle firmly around the base. Point the bottle at a 30-45 degree angle away from all people, windows and, obviously, Faberge eggs. Now take your saber (or the back edge of a chef's knife) and lay the blade flat, just below the lip at the weak spot.
4. MOMENT OF TRUTH: Draw the sword back along the seam and then swing with full force away from your body, upward and into the bottom of the lip. Don't forget to follow through (as with any sport, see the cork popping, be the ball). To minimize spillage, turn the bottle upright immediately afterward.
5. VICTORY: If done right, the cork and bottle top will thrust several feet into the air, and you will lose no more than an ounce of your champagne. And you will be a hero.
Of course, the only thing that looks worse than struggling with a champagne cork is struggling with a saber and a champagne cork, so in a word: practice.
The one caveat I would like to add to this is that nothing looks better than seeing someone sabering a champagne bottle in a great suit, a tuxedo or a stunning party dress. Yes ladies, you can do this too...and should. Though I have never seen a female do it I cannot even imagine how sexy it must be.
In closing just let me say that while I do not condemn overindulgence at a great party I will advise like I always do, "Be mindful." Please make sure you will not be driving at the conclusion of your revelries and be sure to drink plenty of water over the course of the evening to avoid the dreadful New Year's Day hangover.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.